The truth behind 'Marriage is a bitter pill to swallow' Part I

I'm not being bitter. I just lost my career, my freedom...myself. So, why should I be bitter?

My day starts at 6 am--sometimes 5, depends on what time Kiel decides to bug me. I'm a light sleeper nowadays so it doesn't matter what time he wakes up. At 6--or 5, I sit up in bed, amusing the cute little cuddly thing squirming next to me--pulling at my shirt, trying to get my attention--or my breast. When he gets tired of my 'pretending to be asleep', he will start bawling--now, you can't possibly ignore that. When a baby cries, it cries like nobody ever loves him. You try to prove it wrong by carrying it, cuddling it, and 'shhh-ing' it. So, I carry him with me to the balcony. We try to catch sunlight from there. He likes staring at roof tops while feeling the soft breeze on his face--with eyes half close. But I'm not fooled--I know he's very much awake. Half an hour later we will wake up Daddy. Daddy will carry Kiel while Mommy--well, we all know who that is by now--prepares Kiel's breakfast. Breakfast is a tablespoon of cereal and milk.

8 am. Nap time--if he's not so hyperactive. I put on classical music to calm him down...relax him...and slowly lull him to sleep. Fifteen minutes later, he's up again--oh, how time flies! Daddy will keep Kiel company while Mommy prepares his bath.

Bathing is such a fun time for Kiel--if he's in the mood for it. It can be pretty stressful if he choose to have a lung exercise. His hands are still small to grasp his rubber duckies--yes, plural. He's got 6 rubber duckies.

Sometimes Kiel sleeps after bath, sometimes he doesn't. It doesn't matter, Mommy and Daddy take turns in keeping him company but his constant playmate is Mommy. Kiel seems to be very particular with the sex of the person holding him--he prefers females most of the time.

11 am. Lunchtime. Lunch is cereal and veggie or fruit mush. I don't know why books keep calling it 'solids'--it's pretty much all mush to me.

12 pm. Afternoon nap. Sometimes he sleeps longer--or shorter. I really can't figure out the determining factor for longer sleep for babies--We've basically tried everything--but even the dogs barking gets him out of slumber. So, if he's awake for the rest of the afternoon--it's playtime.

Thirty minutes before 6 pm is dinner. Dinner is same as lunch--good thing Kiel is not picky.

7 pm...sleeping time. I lie down next to him in bed--giving him his comfort food--Mommy's breast milk. He falls asleep suckling, one hand tucked at his side the other holding on to my shirt to make sure I won't go anywhere after he falls asleep. Smart kid.

I've got no reason to be bitter. I've got a new career being Mommy, a different kind of freedom and a whole new life ahead of me. No need to be bitter.

At the Homefront

We've been married for almost two months but it's starting to feel like a lifetime.

How the hell did we ever get to this point?

• I got pregnant--it was intentional but totally unplanned.
• It was September when I learned of my pregnancy--we got married 2nd week of December--if you want to have an inexpensive yet stylish wedding just ask me how I planned mine.
• We both still live with our parents--choosing which place to stay is always been a pain--and source of disagreements.
• Only my husband contributes to the family income--presently since I'm 7 months pregnant already.
  

This situation is not so unusual. A lot of couple have unplanned pregnancies which they can't afford to have--not just for financial reasons but also for career growth. The sad thing is most of these couples belong to the lower strata in the society.

Couples who are well-off opt to have a family in their thirties--oh, that's only when they're done enjoying their single lives.

I used to think co-habitation might be a good idea before plunging into the lifetime bondage of marriage. But. come to think of it--for how long are you going to co-habitate? If you don't feel like living with that person 24/7, do you break up and try another relationship? Is co-habitation a simulation of actual married life?

I would never have the chance to find answers to those questions. My husband and I got into this marriage with a child on the way. Things would have been different if we just got married and opted not to have kids till later--but it wouldn't be necessarily better.

My friends would ask me,

"How are the newly weds?"

I would tell them that

"it's fun but hard to deal with sometimes. You have to accept that person and
love that person--faults and all. You will never find a person you can love that
way all the time so the key for staying together is ACCEPTANCE. No conditions,
no buts or ifs."